Today is hard... Yesterday was harder... I took the time this morning to read a blog of a family going through a really, really hard time. It puts into perspective what hard times are. It broke me down and made me realize my issues are nothing. They are selfish and undeserving attention.
Here's my problem...
After a whirl-wind move to a new place, again, I sit everyday in self-pity. I sit with our 4 year-old son and mope over our situation. We had it "made" in Rock Hill, SC. We had a big house, a great church and great friends. We were all involved in many activities. We functioned day-to-day in our school and work schedules. But then it all came crashing down. I left for a long vacation and came back to having to pack up our home, family and life and move within 4 days. And a week later...it was just me and Caden. Everyone left for school and work. Everyday, everyone.
I am ashamed. I am ashamed of the house we are living in. I'll admit. I'm ashamed that I turned my nose up to this house. I'm ashamed that I can't be happy with having a roof over my family's head, a bed to sleep in and food on our table. I can't break down the selfish being that I am, thinking that people will "label" me because of where we are living or what we are wearing. There are so many thoughts and feelings running through my head everyday thinking that I have to "impress" people. What is it about me that makes me this way? Why do I have to feel that I'm better than someone else?
I know where this is coming from...we have looked and looked and looked at homes to buy. We have exhausted our list, for the most part...why do I say that, because there are homes out there that we could potentially buy, but we won't. They might not be "big" enough or in the nicest area...whatever. God has a plan for our family and for right now, we just need to....
"Be still and know that I AM GOD"
It takes God to break us down to draw us closer to Him.
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